The Irony of My Weight Issues

Okay so I haven’t even been back in the gym for a month yet and already I am starting to have injury issues.  One day one knee hurts and then another day the other one just starts to pop every so often when I walk, but only after strenuous exercise.  One of the trainers that goes to the gym and trains some of her clients there says that I might want to get my knee checked out and stop working out until I am giving the all clear but the problem with that is that I don’t currently have a doctor (although I am in heavy search for a new one) and by the time I find a decent one I could have lost valuable time working out and losing weight. 

 

I am hard headed so I already know in my head that I am going to continue exercising.  I just can’t go back to that place where I am gaining weight and not being able to do anything about it to lose it.  I freak out now when I see even an increase of 5 pounds but that is mostly because I am not in the phase of maintaining my weight because I still have so much more I have left to lose.  If I stop exercising now, if I “so-called” let my body heal, I could go back to being that woman who can’t even stand to look in the mirror again.  I don’t want to go there and I have worked hard to lose this much, I can’t quit exercising. 

 

So the question is how do I continue exercising to lose weight effectively without further injuring myself?  Is that even possible to do?  It seems like such irony that the one reason that keeps me from exercising with the intensity that there needs to be (that would be me being overweight) is the very reason that I need to keep going.  I’m really starting to wonder if doing this the natural way, one my own, with no surgical intervention, was really the route I should’ve took.  

 

I wanted to be able to say that I did this on my own and I know that it would mean more to me if I did but could it be that my weight has just done so much damage to my body that it might not be possible?  I don’t have any of the answers to that right now.  I just know that I can’t stop exercising, I suppose not until a doctor tells me I absolutely have to.  Perhaps that is the reason I am not in any rush to go to a doctor?  Am I just asking for further damage?

 

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://write-2-be.com/

http://write2bemagazine.com/

https://www.facebook.com/Write2BeMagazine

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

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When My Issues Become More Than Just My Own

You know as a parent who happens to be overweight you tend to worry somewhere deep down on the inside whether or not your child is going to have the same struggles as you.  When I had my daughter I had hoped that she would never have the same struggles with weight as I did as a child and into my adulthood.  I know how it is to be an overweight child and being a kid is hard enough without having to have that extra burden of being teased because of your weight. 

 

I had actually thought I dodged a bullet because for quite a few years her doctor would tell me that she was underweight and needed to gain more weight but she was such a picky eater and it was hard to feed her anything she liked.  Well at around age six she started to pick up more weight and at first it was gradual but it has been steadily increasing lately.  I can’t believe that while I’ve been working on straightening out my issues with my weight, I somehow failed to stop the growing issue with my child. 

 

It’s not her level of activity because she is extremely active and in fact it’s almost impossible for her to be still so just about a week ago her doctor requested that I take the carbs completely out of her diet for the next two weeks just to see if it makes a difference.  Can you imagine how hard of a diet that is for a kid? 

 

I can’t help but feeling like a failure as a parent because the very thing I didn’t want her to have to deal with is the very thing that she ended up dealing with.  Did I worry so much about it that I somehow brought it on?  Well the main thing now is getting her health back on track and if it takes drastic measures (not too drastic of course) like cutting carbs for a period of time then that is what I am going to do.  I don’t want her to become my age and have to deal with this.  What doe you do when your issues have somehow transferred to your child?  Until next time, be healthy!

 

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://write-2-be.com/

http://write2bemagazine.com/

https://www.facebook.com/Write2BeMagazine

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

On the Right Road Again, Or Am I

So I’ve been back in the gym regularly for about a week and a half now and I feel great.  Already I’m starting to feel stronger and better once again.  It feels good to run on that treadmill again and now I just have to work on making sure that I eat right all of the time.  That is the part that I am struggling with. 

 

For the most part I am good about my meals during the day, it’s the night time that is what gets me in trouble.  By all accounts you are supposed to eat dinner before the 7 o’clock hour and I can handle that part excellently, it’s the fact that I don’t actually go to bed until almost 2 in the morning and there are a lot of hours between 7 in the evening and 2 in the morning.  I could reach for the healthy snacks but frankly it just cost too much to buy the healthy snacks and the one’s that are not as healthy keep calling me late in the evening. 

 

It also turns out that it may be another issue that is keeping me from seeing the weight loss that I want to see.  Sleep.  I talked to a certified fitness instructor and nutrition expert the other day in the gym and she said that it may not have anything to do with the exercise or what I’m eating but rather how much sleep I am not getting.  I don’t know how to stop being a night owl so that could prove to be a little more problematic in the adjustments that need to be made.  Until next time, be happy and be healthy!

 

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://write-2-be.com/

http://write2bemagazine.com/

https://www.facebook.com/Write2BeMagazine

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

It’s Me Again, Attempting to Be Diligent

get back on track
I haven’t kept my promise of being good at keeping up with this blog post this year.  It was never my intention to neglect it but nevertheless that is what happened and I won’t attempt to make excuses.  I had slacked off a bit in the exercise department but it wasn’t because I didn’t want to be in the gym every waking moment (lol) but rather just a financial glitch in renewing my membership (that’s code for I wasn’t able to afford it) and while I did still keep up with roller skating and I tried to exercise at home but I can’t help it, I love the gym. 
 
Well I managed to straighten out the issue with the membership at my gym and I am back in the gym steadily.  Now working out my issues with my food intake is yet another issue but I’ll save that for another blog post.  I am not going to make the promise that I will post here everyday because, well, I haven’t been all that great at keeping that before.  However, I do promise to make sure that I make an effort to post regularly.  Until the next post, hope all of you are well and healthy!
                     
 
Jimmetta Carpenter
Writer/Editor
The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)
Writing as “Jaycee Durant”
http://write-2-be.com/
http://write2bemagazine.com/
https://www.facebook.com/Write2BeMagazine
http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

Pleasantly Surprised and Loving the Runner That’s Inside Me (Somewhere)

woman running on treadmill

So I finally went back to the gym yesterday after not going for at least a month (for many reasons) and I had expected to feel winded quickly and to feel out of shape.  I had expected to not be able to run on the treadmill my first day back to the gym and to feel the weeks that I had been away.  I was pleasantly surprised by feeling the exact opposite of all of that.  

I got on the treadmill and I began with a fast paced walk but quickly bumped it up to running and I felt strong.  In fact I felt stronger running on the treadmill yesterday then I had even felt before when I was going on a regular daily basis.  I felt good to be running and trust me if you knew me and how I was years ago before I ever stepped foot in a gym then you would understand how big of a deal that is.  

I can honestly say that I had never seen myself as being one of those people who like to run but oddly enough I LOVE to RUN now!.  In fact I am even anticipating the day when I feel strong enough and confident enough (because frankly I am not okay with people looking at me while I’m running) to run outside on a track or just around the neighborhood.  I am anticipating even more the day that I can actually entertain the thought of running in some kind of marathon (although I will start of with the small K’s and not a full marathon) because I just want to be able to complete one.  Who knew I was a closeted runner?  

What was also very pleasantly surprising was the fact that my workout clothes were big on me.  I found myself having to actually pull my pants up continually and the last time I had them on they weren’t small on me but they fit just right.  Now there’s actually room in them, the pants actually gather, and I actually got a tad bit annoyed at how many times I had to slow down just to keep pulling them up a little.  I suppose that all the roller skating that I’ve been doing even while missing my workouts in the gym have been still helping me to continue to lose weight.  

Now I just have to get through the struggle of controlling my diet because while my diet is substantially healthier then before I started on this journey, I am honest enough with myself to know that it can still be so much better.  It’s more so the emotional eating that I need to deal with because when I’m feeling any type of emotion, be it sadness, depression, stressed out, or even excited about something, I tend to reach for some type of food and that needs to stop.  

I know that trainers will say to turn to exercise when you are stressed or feeling some type of heightened emotion but usually those emotions don’t hit me until the night time and going to the gym at night is not an option for me.  I am seriously considering getting me an exercise bike (either a regular stationary or a spin bike) for my home so that when I am feeling stressed or sad or whatever emotions, I can just hop on my bike and get them out that way.  Not to mention it would be helpful for my daughter to have something like that in the house as well.  

Well as they say, this weight loss journey that a lot of us are on is more about changing our lifestyle and how we cope with things and not just about what we eat.  It’s more about how we eat and why we eat.  Just remember that you are not in this by yourself and we can all learn to deal with it together.   

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://write-2-be.com/

http://write2bemagazine.com/

https://www.facebook.com/Write2BeMagazine

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

What Lies the Mirror Was Telling Me

So I have not been back to the gym yet.  I was supposed to go back this week but then I got sick this past weekend and I didn’t feel strong enough to go running on anyone’s treadmill yet.  I thought about going today but I still feel a little groggy and therefore I won’t be returning to the gym until next week.  

I have this thing when I don’t get to the gym for a while where I look in the mirror and all I can see is the fat that I’ve managed to lose starting to creep its way back onto my body.  I know it’s probably more psychological than anything but it is still a terrifying thought.  So terrifying it made me get on the scale yesterday.  

I said that I would weigh myself once a month to keep my weight in check but I couldn’t help myself with what was psychologically staring at me in the mirror.  I was sure that it was going to say that I had gained five or ten pounds, maybe even more (yes I really thought a few weeks missed at the gym added that much) but much to my pleasant surprise it actually said I had lost two pounds.  

Now granted in three weeks or so I could’ve lost more if I had been doing what I was supposed to be doing, but on the bright side I lost weight.  I guess everything is not always what it seems when you look in the mirror. 

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://write-2-be.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

My Child the Picky Eater

What I am finding ironic about my struggle with my weight that I have been consciously tackling for the last few years is that during those years my child has developed a weight problem.  I say that it’s ironic because who would’ve thought that just as I am dealing with my issues with weight and my relationship to food that my daughter would start to have the same problems that I had when I was her age.  

Between me and her doctor we have been trying multiple things but nothing seems to be working and it doesn’t make sense because my child is highly active.  However, when I think about it I am guilty of caving in when I am having one of my sweet attacks and she asks for what I have.  I can actually pinpoint a lot of things that I need to do differently but my number one issue with her is that she is an extremely picky eater and I don’t want her to starve.  

When I say picky, I am mostly speaking of vegetables.  When I was my daughter’s age I absolutely loved vegetables (most of them anyway) but unlike me\, she does not.  I used to be able to get her to eat corn and (with a fight) carrots, and green beans.  Now all she seems to eat without an exhausting argument is green beans.  If she had it her way she wouldn’t eat any vegetables AT ALL.  She is definitely more of a starch girl and that is just not healthy.  Now I have to start figuring out more clever ways to sneak her vegetables in her system without her knowing it.    

I guess it’s just all a process because now I realize that while I have made a number of good changes for the better with our eating habits, I can still be doing such a better job of making even more of the necessary changes.  I guess I’ll just have to deal with my frustration of the situation by attacking the problem with the proper actions.  I wonder just how many ways can I actually sneak carrots or spinach into a meal for my child to eat! 

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://write-2-be.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310