I Admit I Am a People Watcher In the Gym

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People watcher 1

Okay I don’t mean that in the creepy way of course where you can just feel people looking at you and you want to yell at them “what are you looking at” (lol). I mean that in the flattering, I wonder what their routine consists of and how do I move to that phase in my journey, kind of way. 

I will glance at the person one the treadmill next to me, or two treadmills away, and see them running and think “I can’t wait to get back to the point where I can run” and wondering when that day is going to come. Or I will see these women who on the outside don’t look like they can lift what I see them lifting in the gym but I look and just say to myself “wow”. 

I wouldn’t say that it is envy because I know that everyone has different goals they are working toward and their goals may not be what mine are. Also I know that it is foolish to wish you were in anyone else’s shoes because you don’t know what walking in their shoes is really like. However, I look not only in awe but also in frustration because my mind keeps telling me that I should have reached that level by now but body keeps telling me “no not yet, be patient” and I don’t know if I’ve told you all this before but patience has never been my strong suit and I am hard-headed. 

My hard-headedness usually ends with me in more physical pain then I would’ve been if I had listen to my body instead of my mind. Those people I watch, I watch them in admiration because they inspire me and make me believe that I can get to that level, but only when my body and my mind are both in agreement. But I can’t lie and say that I wish my body would hurry up already, I’m ready to go to the next phase of this journey, at least in my mind anyway! 

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

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If Only My Body Could Do What My Mind Says It Can

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pushing the limits mind and body

I can’t wait to shed at least half of the weight that I want to shed. I know that it’s not really about the number but rather about being healthier but there are some things I want to be able to do in the gym without having physical ailments get in my way and I know that getting more of this weight off will help with that. 

Right now I just have to push through the pain without overdoing it and hurting myself to the point where I can’t workout at all. I want to be able to run on the treadmill like I had once before but I can’t even walk for a thirty minute interval without getting sharp pains in my leg and the pain in my knee kicking in halfway through it. 

I look around at the other people on the treadmills running and I want to be able to run as well and ordinarily I would just ignore the pain and run anyway but in the past when I would run before my body was really ready I would end up suffering the consequences sooner rather than later so I’m trying my best to be good this time. But it’s hard to have my mind tell me that I can do something and have my body be in such disagreement with that. 

In my mind I’m already able to run marathons but my body knows better. See it’s not so much about the number for me as it is about the relief on my body so that I won’t be in so much physical pain. I can only imagine how much more effective my workouts will be once the pain lessens. I’m waiting for that day to come but until it does I will just have to stay steadily on the course I am on and persevere. That just means I will have to increase the time of my workouts since I can’t increase the intensity just yet. But I do love working out!

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

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Foolishly Pushing the Limits Of My Body

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Pushing the limits listen

I pushed it slightly a little too hard today in the gym and couldn’t push as hard as I wanted to because my leg began to feel like I might have pulled something. That’s another one of my downfalls that I have to work on correcting, listening to my body. I think about 20 minutes into the first machine that I was on I could feel this pain in my leg and like something was pulling but even though my body was trying to tell me that I should’ve stopped, my mind said “don’t you dare” and psychologically I was thinking I can’t be a quitter so I kept going until my first 45 minutes was up. It was clear when I got off the machine that I had overdone it. 

The bad thing is I was still trying to figure out if I could go ahead and do my mile on the treadmill. I did some weights and things (by the way it was legs and abs day so that probably didn’t help it) and was still limping a little. The trainer that I consult with on occasion told me that it was most certainly not a good idea to do the treadmill and although it pained me to leave the gym feeling as if I had not completed my entire workout, I listened to the word of someone who clearly knows more about this weight loss thing than I do. 

Talking to the trainer also helped in another area because we got to talking about the proper things to eat and the nutritional value of some things as opposed to others. She clued me into a lot of different things as far as the right nutritionally rich meals and options for healthy snacks to eat. There is so much more to this whole healthy lifestyle thing then just the exercise and even choosing what we think is healthy to eat. 

It’s clearly a lot about nutrition that I need to read up on and a lot of meal choices that I have to sort through. I said in a previous post that I really needed to focus in on my eating habits and make sure that they are not doing more harm than good. Talking to her today was very enlightening and showed me that I have so much more to learn about this weight loss and healthy eating thing. But I’m ready!

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

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Will the Number Reflect the Work I’ve Put In

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forget what the scale says

It’s been almost a month now since I’ve started back at my workout regimen which of course since I said I was going to weigh myself at the beginning of each month means it’s almost weigh in time (Sunday). I have to say I’m a bit nervous because even though I am starting to feel the change in my body I don’t know if it will show up just yet on the scale. Not to mention I am not sure that I have gotten enough of a handle on my bad eating habits for it to start showing up on the scale either. 

I am hopeful because I have definitely been putting in some hard work at the gym and I have made sure to be consistent and I won’t lie and say that it wouldn’t be frustrating if the scale didn’t show the progress that I feel. I also know that the progress I feel will not be negated by whatever number shows up on that scale. I know that I can’t beat myself up if the number doesn’t show the hard work that I have put in because that still doesn’t change that I feel the change. 

My legs are feeling stronger, while I am still having knee issues I have been having less struggles with my knee than before, and I also am starting to feel a change in my energy levels. I also feel like my confidence is coming back and that feeling is priceless, regardless of what that number is going to say on the scale. 

Weight loss is about so much more than just the number that you see when you get on a scale and it took me a long time to really get that and for it to sink in. I could lose another 100 pounds but if I still don’t feel good about myself and don’t feel healthy and strong then what does it really mean? I am discovering things about myself on this journey also that still amaze me everyday and one of them is that I have so much willpower that carries me though on this weight loss goal. 

I get up when I don’t want to, I keep going when I don’t want to, and on a slightly less celebratory scale, when I know I shouldn’t go any further (due to physical strain) I continue until I have completed the goal I set in the beginning. The last one could be a really bad thing in the long run but it does say something about me. It says that if I set a goal I am going to get there no matter what. I am feeling good today and I love this feeling!

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

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CEO/Writer/Editor

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Week 2 Has Begun and I’m Still Pushing Through

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Week 2 Keep pushing through

Week 2 has started on my redo of this journey and this is the point where a lot of people with weight loss goals as a New Year’s resolution begin to fall off the map (seriously, that’s what the guys who work at the gym say) and go back to their old ways. So when I walk in today the guy at the desk said they were glad that I didn’t seem to be like the others and that I was sticking with it, well seemingly anyway because it is only week 2. 

I actually rested over the weekend because my leg was so sore that I almost couldn’t straighten it out and I could barely walk. Walking in the gym this morning I felt more rested but to be honest my leg was still a little sore. Not to mention, because of a 2-hour delay with schools, I didn’t workout as long or go as hard as I would’ve liked to but I’m kind of glad that I didn’t because I really don’t think my leg was up to it. The important thing, after all, is to keep moving forward and to keep pushing even when it gets hard, especially when it gets hard. 

Now if I can just get my issues with food and the times that I eat straightened out then I think I would really have something that can work effectively here. But the food part is going to be another post for another day. Nevertheless, my workout week has started off relatively good and I hope that all of you out there are having a good start to your workout week as well! Don’t quit, hang in there! 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

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The Irony of My Weight Issues

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Okay so I haven’t even been back in the gym for a month yet and already I am starting to have injury issues.  One day one knee hurts and then another day the other one just starts to pop every so often when I walk, but only after strenuous exercise.  One of the trainers that goes to the gym and trains some of her clients there says that I might want to get my knee checked out and stop working out until I am giving the all clear but the problem with that is that I don’t currently have a doctor (although I am in heavy search for a new one) and by the time I find a decent one I could have lost valuable time working out and losing weight. 

 

I am hard headed so I already know in my head that I am going to continue exercising.  I just can’t go back to that place where I am gaining weight and not being able to do anything about it to lose it.  I freak out now when I see even an increase of 5 pounds but that is mostly because I am not in the phase of maintaining my weight because I still have so much more I have left to lose.  If I stop exercising now, if I “so-called” let my body heal, I could go back to being that woman who can’t even stand to look in the mirror again.  I don’t want to go there and I have worked hard to lose this much, I can’t quit exercising. 

 

So the question is how do I continue exercising to lose weight effectively without further injuring myself?  Is that even possible to do?  It seems like such irony that the one reason that keeps me from exercising with the intensity that there needs to be (that would be me being overweight) is the very reason that I need to keep going.  I’m really starting to wonder if doing this the natural way, one my own, with no surgical intervention, was really the route I should’ve took.  

 

I wanted to be able to say that I did this on my own and I know that it would mean more to me if I did but could it be that my weight has just done so much damage to my body that it might not be possible?  I don’t have any of the answers to that right now.  I just know that I can’t stop exercising, I suppose not until a doctor tells me I absolutely have to.  Perhaps that is the reason I am not in any rush to go to a doctor?  Am I just asking for further damage?

 

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

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When My Issues Become More Than Just My Own

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You know as a parent who happens to be overweight you tend to worry somewhere deep down on the inside whether or not your child is going to have the same struggles as you.  When I had my daughter I had hoped that she would never have the same struggles with weight as I did as a child and into my adulthood.  I know how it is to be an overweight child and being a kid is hard enough without having to have that extra burden of being teased because of your weight. 

 

I had actually thought I dodged a bullet because for quite a few years her doctor would tell me that she was underweight and needed to gain more weight but she was such a picky eater and it was hard to feed her anything she liked.  Well at around age six she started to pick up more weight and at first it was gradual but it has been steadily increasing lately.  I can’t believe that while I’ve been working on straightening out my issues with my weight, I somehow failed to stop the growing issue with my child. 

 

It’s not her level of activity because she is extremely active and in fact it’s almost impossible for her to be still so just about a week ago her doctor requested that I take the carbs completely out of her diet for the next two weeks just to see if it makes a difference.  Can you imagine how hard of a diet that is for a kid? 

 

I can’t help but feeling like a failure as a parent because the very thing I didn’t want her to have to deal with is the very thing that she ended up dealing with.  Did I worry so much about it that I somehow brought it on?  Well the main thing now is getting her health back on track and if it takes drastic measures (not too drastic of course) like cutting carbs for a period of time then that is what I am going to do.  I don’t want her to become my age and have to deal with this.  What doe you do when your issues have somehow transferred to your child?  Until next time, be healthy!

 

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

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