If Only My Body Could Do What My Mind Says It Can

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pushing the limits mind and body

I can’t wait to shed at least half of the weight that I want to shed. I know that it’s not really about the number but rather about being healthier but there are some things I want to be able to do in the gym without having physical ailments get in my way and I know that getting more of this weight off will help with that. 

Right now I just have to push through the pain without overdoing it and hurting myself to the point where I can’t workout at all. I want to be able to run on the treadmill like I had once before but I can’t even walk for a thirty minute interval without getting sharp pains in my leg and the pain in my knee kicking in halfway through it. 

I look around at the other people on the treadmills running and I want to be able to run as well and ordinarily I would just ignore the pain and run anyway but in the past when I would run before my body was really ready I would end up suffering the consequences sooner rather than later so I’m trying my best to be good this time. But it’s hard to have my mind tell me that I can do something and have my body be in such disagreement with that. 

In my mind I’m already able to run marathons but my body knows better. See it’s not so much about the number for me as it is about the relief on my body so that I won’t be in so much physical pain. I can only imagine how much more effective my workouts will be once the pain lessens. I’m waiting for that day to come but until it does I will just have to stay steadily on the course I am on and persevere. That just means I will have to increase the time of my workouts since I can’t increase the intensity just yet. But I do love working out!

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

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Pleasantly Surprised and Loving the Runner That’s Inside Me (Somewhere)

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woman running on treadmill

So I finally went back to the gym yesterday after not going for at least a month (for many reasons) and I had expected to feel winded quickly and to feel out of shape.  I had expected to not be able to run on the treadmill my first day back to the gym and to feel the weeks that I had been away.  I was pleasantly surprised by feeling the exact opposite of all of that.  

I got on the treadmill and I began with a fast paced walk but quickly bumped it up to running and I felt strong.  In fact I felt stronger running on the treadmill yesterday then I had even felt before when I was going on a regular daily basis.  I felt good to be running and trust me if you knew me and how I was years ago before I ever stepped foot in a gym then you would understand how big of a deal that is.  

I can honestly say that I had never seen myself as being one of those people who like to run but oddly enough I LOVE to RUN now!.  In fact I am even anticipating the day when I feel strong enough and confident enough (because frankly I am not okay with people looking at me while I’m running) to run outside on a track or just around the neighborhood.  I am anticipating even more the day that I can actually entertain the thought of running in some kind of marathon (although I will start of with the small K’s and not a full marathon) because I just want to be able to complete one.  Who knew I was a closeted runner?  

What was also very pleasantly surprising was the fact that my workout clothes were big on me.  I found myself having to actually pull my pants up continually and the last time I had them on they weren’t small on me but they fit just right.  Now there’s actually room in them, the pants actually gather, and I actually got a tad bit annoyed at how many times I had to slow down just to keep pulling them up a little.  I suppose that all the roller skating that I’ve been doing even while missing my workouts in the gym have been still helping me to continue to lose weight.  

Now I just have to get through the struggle of controlling my diet because while my diet is substantially healthier then before I started on this journey, I am honest enough with myself to know that it can still be so much better.  It’s more so the emotional eating that I need to deal with because when I’m feeling any type of emotion, be it sadness, depression, stressed out, or even excited about something, I tend to reach for some type of food and that needs to stop.  

I know that trainers will say to turn to exercise when you are stressed or feeling some type of heightened emotion but usually those emotions don’t hit me until the night time and going to the gym at night is not an option for me.  I am seriously considering getting me an exercise bike (either a regular stationary or a spin bike) for my home so that when I am feeling stressed or sad or whatever emotions, I can just hop on my bike and get them out that way.  Not to mention it would be helpful for my daughter to have something like that in the house as well.  

Well as they say, this weight loss journey that a lot of us are on is more about changing our lifestyle and how we cope with things and not just about what we eat.  It’s more about how we eat and why we eat.  Just remember that you are not in this by yourself and we can all learn to deal with it together.   

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

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What Lies the Mirror Was Telling Me

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So I have not been back to the gym yet.  I was supposed to go back this week but then I got sick this past weekend and I didn’t feel strong enough to go running on anyone’s treadmill yet.  I thought about going today but I still feel a little groggy and therefore I won’t be returning to the gym until next week.  

I have this thing when I don’t get to the gym for a while where I look in the mirror and all I can see is the fat that I’ve managed to lose starting to creep its way back onto my body.  I know it’s probably more psychological than anything but it is still a terrifying thought.  So terrifying it made me get on the scale yesterday.  

I said that I would weigh myself once a month to keep my weight in check but I couldn’t help myself with what was psychologically staring at me in the mirror.  I was sure that it was going to say that I had gained five or ten pounds, maybe even more (yes I really thought a few weeks missed at the gym added that much) but much to my pleasant surprise it actually said I had lost two pounds.  

Now granted in three weeks or so I could’ve lost more if I had been doing what I was supposed to be doing, but on the bright side I lost weight.  I guess everything is not always what it seems when you look in the mirror. 

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

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Decadent Soothing of the Soul

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Today I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.  I mean that metaphorically of course but the point of the matter is that I started off today feeling depressed and moody and just all sorts of feelings that don’t exactly lend a helping hand to a person who is on a journey to a healthier version of themselves, especially when that person (that would be me of course) has a problem with soothing her soul with food.  

And I’m not just talking food as in fixing my favorite savory dish for dinner as a special treat to try and perk myself back up.  I’m talking about going to the grocery store and stalking up on some food to sooth my wounded heart like a piece of peach pie (in fairness to myself I did only by it by the slice instead of gorging on a whole entire pie or half of a pie), and butter pecan ice cream (it was on sale so I couldn’t resist).  

I actually did better then I had planned because at the end of the grocery store trip there was absolutely no chocolate in my cart despite the fact that I had it on my mental list when I left the house.  In fact halfway through my grocery store trip I had a bag of chocolate chips cookies that were on sale which I told myself that I was getting mostly for my daughter (not that she needs them either) and I also had a chocolate candy bar in the cart (yes I was in that bad of a mood).  I got almost to the cash register and took out the cookies and the candy bar and left myself with the pie and ice cream.  

While I realize that I was still doing a bad thing by attempting to make myself feel better with food (which is how I got into this situation where I have a serious weight problem to get under control) I also realized that a couple of years ago I would not have put back those cookies or the candy bar.  In fact there would have been so many more decadent unnecessary items in that cart that I would’ve probably enjoyed it as it was going down and felt sick later.  

While it may not have seemed completely like it today, I have changed.  I have not changed in just the size of my clothes or my body.  I have changed in my way of making choices.  I know I still probably had no business getting what I got but before I would have gotten so much more and I wouldn’t have even felt guilty about it.  And I try to look at it this way, before I didn’t even have the rationality that I could work it off in the morning at the gym, at least now I know that I am going to get on that treadmill in the morning and run that piece of pie and ice cream off.  Okay so it might take more than one day, but hey I’m up for the challenge.  

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

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Not Letting the Pain Win Anymore

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There have been times (very few mind you) that I did not go to the gym.  Not because I didn’t want to go, but because I felt that I couldn’t, or possibly shouldn’t go because I had pain in one place or another that just felt so debilitating.  It was either pain in the heel of my foot (which is excruciating) or pain in my lower back, or the most common for me, pain in my knee (either one of them depending on the day).  

Of course you have those people at the gym who will tell you that you shouldn’t let the pain stop you but then you have the others who sound like they make a lot more sense when they tell you that if you feel pain then you should stop before you make it worse.  So there have been times when I have done that.  I have stopped because the pain just got to be so bad.  However, now I am feeling differently about that theory.  I am feeling more and more like there is so much truth to the saying ‘No Pain, No Gain’.  

Yesterday when I got home from skating with my daughter my knee was hurting really bad.  I put a heating pad on it and ice and of course rested it. I started to think about not going to the gym this morning because I thought that maybe I shouldn’t run on the treadmill with my knee hurting like this.  But when I woke up this morning I told myself that I was not going to let this pain win anymore.  I got my daughter ready to go to her daycare and I grabbed an ice pack out of the freezer and my ace bandage and headed out to the car.  I wrapped my knee up with the ice when I got to the car and drove her to the daycare and then myself to the gym with the ice pack on my knee.  

When I got into the gym I hit the treadmill, and granted I didn’t run as much as I normally do on there, but I did run a little and I completed my2 miles.  My knee was still bothering me the whole time but I just kept telling myself that I was not going to let this pain win anymore.  I had to do it, I had to prove to myself that I was capable of pushing through the pain and finishing up in spite of it.  And I did.  

I am becoming more and more proud of myself and the things that I am accomplishing that I never thought I could, or that I kept telling myself I couldn’t.  Until next time…Whatever it is that you keep letting beat you down, tell yourself from this day forward that you are not going to let that thing win anymore! 

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

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Treating Myself to Some Sweets… And Not Feeling Guilty About It

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I am not going to feel bad that I bought myself a treat over the weekend.  I got some cake and some ice cream and while I would like to feel guilty for my fattening purchases but I am not going to allow myself to get down about something that does not have to affect my whole entire journey to a healthier and lighter me.  A lot of what I have learned over this journey for the last 3 years or so is that everyone’s bodies are different and strict dieting, while it may be okay and work for some, does not work for all.  

Keeping myself from having a treat, something that I just want to eat just because, without examining every inch of the side label to see the calories and the grams of sugar that are listed, only makes me want it that much more.  I have found that prolonging a craving is what makes you gorge on that particular item.  So I am going to enjoy my cake and my ice cream for a night (maybe two) and I may just add another mile to my treadmill time next week when I work out.  Until next time…Enjoy whatever treat you decide to have tonight, you can work it off later!

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

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https://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

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With A New Year Comes A New Attitude

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Okay I know that I haven’t posted anything on here in quite some time now and most of it was due to trying to build up the readership and following on my Write 2 Be blog but there was a part of me that just didn’t know what I had to tell you that was anything different.  But recently I realized that is just crazy to think that because as far as my workout and maintaining my health regimen goes, I am always trying to do new things and challenge myself more.  

Sometime towards the end of November of last year I decided to step off of the treadmill (at least cut down on the frequency) and go into the gym with the guys and run suicides.  I know right, me, run suicides.  I remember saying that I would NEVER ever do that.  Well that would be why people say never say never.  So clearly I couldn’t do what the rest of the guys did because they have been running these things for years, this is nothing new to them.  So while they do their ten sets of ten suicides (yes each set) I started off with just one set.  The following week I moved up to two sets.  By the end of December I was running 4 up to three sets and by the first of this year I was up to five.  Now I can run seven sets of suicides and on most days I am in the gym doing them by myself.  

The guys all quit on me.  Well they went back to focusing on all weights, all the time.  But with me, because I still have lots of weight I want to lose, it’s all mostly Cardio all of the time and a little bit of weights.  One of the guys even told me last week that he was proud of the strides that I have made.  You know what?  I’m proud of me too.  I never in a million years thought that I could even run one set of them things let alone have made it to seven and can easily see me getting to ten by, oh say, March (that’s not a promise).  

I have surprised myself by challenging myself which goes to show you what you miss out on when you don’t challenge yourself to do better, to be stronger, and push past the limits that you have set for yourself in your own mind.  Usually the limits are yours, not your bodies.  Until next time…Don’t forget to go past your limits sometimes because you never know what you might be capable of doing! 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

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