If Only My Body Could Do What My Mind Says It Can

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pushing the limits mind and body

I can’t wait to shed at least half of the weight that I want to shed. I know that it’s not really about the number but rather about being healthier but there are some things I want to be able to do in the gym without having physical ailments get in my way and I know that getting more of this weight off will help with that. 

Right now I just have to push through the pain without overdoing it and hurting myself to the point where I can’t workout at all. I want to be able to run on the treadmill like I had once before but I can’t even walk for a thirty minute interval without getting sharp pains in my leg and the pain in my knee kicking in halfway through it. 

I look around at the other people on the treadmills running and I want to be able to run as well and ordinarily I would just ignore the pain and run anyway but in the past when I would run before my body was really ready I would end up suffering the consequences sooner rather than later so I’m trying my best to be good this time. But it’s hard to have my mind tell me that I can do something and have my body be in such disagreement with that. 

In my mind I’m already able to run marathons but my body knows better. See it’s not so much about the number for me as it is about the relief on my body so that I won’t be in so much physical pain. I can only imagine how much more effective my workouts will be once the pain lessens. I’m waiting for that day to come but until it does I will just have to stay steadily on the course I am on and persevere. That just means I will have to increase the time of my workouts since I can’t increase the intensity just yet. But I do love working out!

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

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I confess that…

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I don’t think I’ll ever really get to that safe place 

Okay I think that I have done something bad.  I made the mistake of thinking that I was in that safe place on my weight loss journey.  You know that place where you know you are consistently working out at the gym (or at home) and you are keeping your meals pretty healthy, both in portion size and in the method you cook, and you think “hey I can reward myself just a little for all my hard work at maintaining this healthy lifestyle”.  I hear trainers on the biggest loser say all the time that you want to eat healthy but you also want to incorporate the foods you like into your diet to make sure that it doesn’t become a chore; something to the effect that you are allowed to reward yourself every once in a while for your good healthy behavior.  Well I think that I might have been taking a little too much advantage of that adage and rewarding myself a bit too heavily lately.  Now I haven’t been consuming large amounts of cakes or pies or cookies (okay a few Oreo cookies, but who’s counting) or ice cream (oh yeah there was that one bowl, or two, the other week-not in the same day of course) but even though the snacks I chose are healthy, I feel like they may have been consumed in abundance.  So I think I have to somehow sit down and rework my plan, workout, meals, everything because per advice that I have gotten from one of my gym buddies, you have to adjust your plan every so often to go along with the progress that you make and I have gotten so used to doing something that I thought was working and I have gotten a lot relaxed in my diet.  I think I might have to go back to the beginning of this journey when I put myself on a strict diet and carefully monitored what I ate.  I just don’t want to get back off track all because I felt that I was in that pocket of safeness.  When you are a person trying to lose weight and become a healthier individual, especially when you have struggled with it for most of your childhood and all of your adult life, you have to constantly monitor and stay on top of how you are working out by always asking yourself, is your workout doing enough, is it causing injury, is your body too used to your workout and you need to adjust it?  You also have to stay on top of your eating habits as well by making sure you are cooking your food in the healthiest way, asking yourself are you eating too much, are you eating enough, that you are snacking on the right snacks.  I guess when it comes to living a healthier lifestyle you just can’t ever be too safe.  So I guess I have some planning to do.  Just when I think I’m on the right track I realize I still have so much more to do.  Until next time…Don’t get too safe in your plan. 

                                                     

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

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Fat Girl Confession # 25

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I confess…I thought I would have met my goal by now 

So yet another weight loss show premiered on T.V. last night called Extreme Makeover: Weight Loss Edition.  It’s about transforming one particular person over the course of a year into a new life by losing the weight they’ve been trying to lose for the better part of their life.  Watching the show made me frustrated about my weight loss journey all over again.  It wasn’t that the show isn’t any good because it is very motivating and inspiring.  This woman on the premier show went from369 lbsto208 lbsin just a year’s time. 161 poundsin just one year. 

That’s what’s so frustrating to me.  I’ve been on this weight loss journey for 2 plus years now and while I have lost a great deal of weight I somehow thought that I would be a lot closer to my end goal by now and it just seems like the harder I workout and the more I try to change my eating habits for the better (because I do slip up every now and then) that’s the further away that my end goal becomes.  I mean I do a 2 hour workout every morning, Monday through Friday, which includes an hour and a half of cardio every morning plus incorporating weights into it.  I have changed the things I eat and even the amount I eat is less because apparently my stomach is shrinking and I can’t even eat as much as I used to which was never a lot to begin with.  I’ve changed the way I prepare my food as well. 

Now I’m not perfect and yes I do have moments where I eat something not so healthy for me but not enough of a slip up to completely hinder things.  What do I have to do, practically kill myself or stop eating altogether?  I really am at a loss for what to do.  Everyone I go to the gym with has their own different kind of advice to give me and I try out everything and still I am not where I want to be in my weight loss yet.  I know it takes time, I know all of the things that people say about not getting to this point overnight and yes I understand that and I’m not saying that I haven’t made great progress because I do see some subtle differences and more importantly I feel a tremendous change within me and my body that I’ve honestly never felt before but I just wish that in 2 years I was where other people seem to get to in just 1 year. 

I guess my body type just requires more patience (or 4 more hours of working out which would almost kill me).  If I knew then what I know now about how hard losing weight would be I might have thought twice (and 3 or 4 more times after that) about the extra unnecessary food that I was eating just to fill other voids in my life.  Well I can’t turn back time now so I guess I just have to roll with the punches.  Until next time…try not to let frustration get the better of you!!!

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

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