Okay I don’t mean that in the creepy way of course where you can just feel people looking at you and you want to yell at them “what are you looking at” (lol). I mean that in the flattering, I wonder what their routine consists of and how do I move to that phase in my journey, kind of way.
I will glance at the person one the treadmill next to me, or two treadmills away, and see them running and think “I can’t wait to get back to the point where I can run” and wondering when that day is going to come. Or I will see these women who on the outside don’t look like they can lift what I see them lifting in the gym but I look and just say to myself “wow”.
I wouldn’t say that it is envy because I know that everyone has different goals they are working toward and their goals may not be what mine are. Also I know that it is foolish to wish you were in anyone else’s shoes because you don’t know what walking in their shoes is really like. However, I look not only in awe but also in frustration because my mind keeps telling me that I should have reached that level by now but body keeps telling me “no not yet, be patient” and I don’t know if I’ve told you all this before but patience has never been my strong suit and I am hard-headed.
My hard-headedness usually ends with me in more physical pain then I would’ve been if I had listen to my body instead of my mind. Those people I watch, I watch them in admiration because they inspire me and make me believe that I can get to that level, but only when my body and my mind are both in agreement. But I can’t lie and say that I wish my body would hurry up already, I’m ready to go to the next phase of this journey, at least in my mind anyway!
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