Pleasantly Surprised and Loving the Runner That’s Inside Me (Somewhere)

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woman running on treadmill

So I finally went back to the gym yesterday after not going for at least a month (for many reasons) and I had expected to feel winded quickly and to feel out of shape.  I had expected to not be able to run on the treadmill my first day back to the gym and to feel the weeks that I had been away.  I was pleasantly surprised by feeling the exact opposite of all of that.  

I got on the treadmill and I began with a fast paced walk but quickly bumped it up to running and I felt strong.  In fact I felt stronger running on the treadmill yesterday then I had even felt before when I was going on a regular daily basis.  I felt good to be running and trust me if you knew me and how I was years ago before I ever stepped foot in a gym then you would understand how big of a deal that is.  

I can honestly say that I had never seen myself as being one of those people who like to run but oddly enough I LOVE to RUN now!.  In fact I am even anticipating the day when I feel strong enough and confident enough (because frankly I am not okay with people looking at me while I’m running) to run outside on a track or just around the neighborhood.  I am anticipating even more the day that I can actually entertain the thought of running in some kind of marathon (although I will start of with the small K’s and not a full marathon) because I just want to be able to complete one.  Who knew I was a closeted runner?  

What was also very pleasantly surprising was the fact that my workout clothes were big on me.  I found myself having to actually pull my pants up continually and the last time I had them on they weren’t small on me but they fit just right.  Now there’s actually room in them, the pants actually gather, and I actually got a tad bit annoyed at how many times I had to slow down just to keep pulling them up a little.  I suppose that all the roller skating that I’ve been doing even while missing my workouts in the gym have been still helping me to continue to lose weight.  

Now I just have to get through the struggle of controlling my diet because while my diet is substantially healthier then before I started on this journey, I am honest enough with myself to know that it can still be so much better.  It’s more so the emotional eating that I need to deal with because when I’m feeling any type of emotion, be it sadness, depression, stressed out, or even excited about something, I tend to reach for some type of food and that needs to stop.  

I know that trainers will say to turn to exercise when you are stressed or feeling some type of heightened emotion but usually those emotions don’t hit me until the night time and going to the gym at night is not an option for me.  I am seriously considering getting me an exercise bike (either a regular stationary or a spin bike) for my home so that when I am feeling stressed or sad or whatever emotions, I can just hop on my bike and get them out that way.  Not to mention it would be helpful for my daughter to have something like that in the house as well.  

Well as they say, this weight loss journey that a lot of us are on is more about changing our lifestyle and how we cope with things and not just about what we eat.  It’s more about how we eat and why we eat.  Just remember that you are not in this by yourself and we can all learn to deal with it together.   

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://write-2-be.com/

http://write2bemagazine.com/

https://www.facebook.com/Write2BeMagazine

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

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The Lingering Scale of Depression

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I haven’t stepped on the scale in a while and to be honest I’m a little terrified to.  I haven’t been able to go to the gym for the last couple of weeks and while I have still kept up with the roller skating as the other part of my exercise, I’m worried that it hasn’t been enough.  

Not to mention that towards the end of last year I was more than generous with my sweets intake Even before the last couple of weeks I have been quite liberal with the amount of sweets I was digesting and I could blame it all on the depression that I was in and the fact that food is my crutch when I get in a depressed state but it’s time to stop using that excuse.  

I know better and not only do I know better but I can do better.  I suppose knowing the numbers couldn’t hurt.  I guess if I get on the scale at least once a month it wouldn’t be a complete devastation.  Getting on the scale has a habit of becoming addictive in a negative way.  You see a number you like you want to keep getting on it to see more numbers you like.  On the flip side, if you see a number you don’t like you feel the need to constantly get on the scale to pray the numbers change in the downward direction.  It’s a bad cycle and I just don’t want to become obsessed with that number on the scale.     

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://write-2-be.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

 

The Sweet Treat Taunting Me in the Refrigerator

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As with any attempt at making healthier choices when a New Year starts, sweets is one of the first things to get axed on most people’s list.  My list of foods that I should not eat a lot of is no different.  Restrict my intake of sweets, any fried foods (which should be easy because I don’t eat a lot of fried food anymore), and not a lot of eating out (once a week is okay though, right?), that is the major no no’s on my list.  

It doesn’t help, however, when you bake a cake (a yellow cake with chocolate icing in particular) for the New Year’s celebration and it is still sitting in the refrigerator, taunting you.  See I don’t particularly eat a lot of sweets per say, but when I do get a taste for something sweet then I get something that will last for days when one night will do.  

This would be why I don’t bake often.  I always run into the problem of making something that will lasts for longer then the taste that I have for it.  I hate to waste food but when I know I don’t want the temptation there in my refrigerator what other choice would there be.  There have got to be healthier versions of sweet treats out there that don’t just make you want more of the sweets that are bad for you.  

Well I suppose it’s just another part of figuring out how to better plan a healthier lifestyle.  On a brighter note, I have gone roller skating every single day this week and have managed to get a really good workout in by doing so.  For anyone who wants a really fun way to workout, try roller skating.  Well I hope the rest of you out there are successfully fighting off all of the things that are tempting you in your journey to better health.  

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://write-2-be.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

A Plan Not Yet In Motion

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Okay so I am not rich.  Shocking, I know, but unfortunately true.  So when I have to think about making a comprehensive plan for my weight loss efforts this year, to step up my efforts and to start to see more aggressive results again like I saw in the first year of my journey, I can not just turn to Jenny Craig, or the Biggest Loser Meal and workout plan (that cost way more than I am willing to pay), or Weight Watchers (which seems to be the biggest show of results out there now) in order to nudge me along the way.  

It’s a lot harder when you have to figure it all out on your own, without being a nutritionist and having knowledge of how your body responds to certain foods, or without knowing just how many calories you are supposed to be taking in for your weight and height and just how many you are supposed to be burning off.  

Needless to say, I have not yet come up with a strong plan for what workouts work the best for me and how often, if at all, I should change up the machines in the gym that I use.  I also haven’t come up with a way to cut back on my snacking (my weakness) and how to best tailor my meals in a better way to be even more healthy because I know that I can do better in that area as well.  

I am still working on coming up with my plan for this year but maybe I’ll share it with you when I finish putting it all together.  I tell you, those that are fortunate enough to have the money to be able to join weight watchers or some weight loss program that help them with their weight loss efforts, use those resources because it certainly makes jumping into things a lot easier.  Well I hope all of you have your plans for your weight loss efforts in place.  Maybe you could share some ideas with me.   

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://write-2-be.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

Time For A Reboot

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I know that I have been absent from this blog for quite some time now.  I didn’t mean to neglect the blog because it is very important to me, for my journey and for the people who just want someone to relate to that’s struggling with issues with weight and health just as they are.  So where do I begin when it has been so long.  

The scale still says that I am in the 300’s but I am pleased to say it is the low 300’s and given that I started off this weight loss journey in the high 400’s, I think that is a very good thing.  I will say that last year was not the best year and there was a long period where I was going through a deep depression, I think even deeper then I realized at the time.  Due to this depression a lot of the goals and things that I wanted to get accomplished, things that I wanted to continue working on, fell by the waist-side.  

But towards the end of last year I started to feel myself coming out of that depression and started to refocus what direction I needed to take and things that I have to work on.  I also realized that if I don’t take better care of myself and my health that I won’t be around to accomplish the bigger goals that I am setting out to accomplish.  

So I guess it’s time for a reboot on this weight loss journey of mine because I haven’t exactly been quite as diligent with it in the last several months like I should have been.  It’s not that I stopped exercising altogether because I didn’t.  It’s that my level of intensity pertaining to working out changed.  And while I would like to say that I was doing so well with my weight loss that I could afford to slack off a bit, that is not the case either.  

So I’m going to reevaluate my eating habits and the foods that I am eating and change what needs to be changed.  I have to get strict again with my diet the way that I was in the beginning of my weight loss journey.  Maybe I’ll have to go back to only rewarding myself one day out of the weekend.  I’ve got a few other adjustments to make in my efforts to lose more weight and I’ll let you guys know how my journey is going with a little more consistency this year.  I hope everyone has their goals in place for the year.  Happy New Year everyone!

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://write-2-be.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

Decadent Soothing of the Soul

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Today I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.  I mean that metaphorically of course but the point of the matter is that I started off today feeling depressed and moody and just all sorts of feelings that don’t exactly lend a helping hand to a person who is on a journey to a healthier version of themselves, especially when that person (that would be me of course) has a problem with soothing her soul with food.  

And I’m not just talking food as in fixing my favorite savory dish for dinner as a special treat to try and perk myself back up.  I’m talking about going to the grocery store and stalking up on some food to sooth my wounded heart like a piece of peach pie (in fairness to myself I did only by it by the slice instead of gorging on a whole entire pie or half of a pie), and butter pecan ice cream (it was on sale so I couldn’t resist).  

I actually did better then I had planned because at the end of the grocery store trip there was absolutely no chocolate in my cart despite the fact that I had it on my mental list when I left the house.  In fact halfway through my grocery store trip I had a bag of chocolate chips cookies that were on sale which I told myself that I was getting mostly for my daughter (not that she needs them either) and I also had a chocolate candy bar in the cart (yes I was in that bad of a mood).  I got almost to the cash register and took out the cookies and the candy bar and left myself with the pie and ice cream.  

While I realize that I was still doing a bad thing by attempting to make myself feel better with food (which is how I got into this situation where I have a serious weight problem to get under control) I also realized that a couple of years ago I would not have put back those cookies or the candy bar.  In fact there would have been so many more decadent unnecessary items in that cart that I would’ve probably enjoyed it as it was going down and felt sick later.  

While it may not have seemed completely like it today, I have changed.  I have not changed in just the size of my clothes or my body.  I have changed in my way of making choices.  I know I still probably had no business getting what I got but before I would have gotten so much more and I wouldn’t have even felt guilty about it.  And I try to look at it this way, before I didn’t even have the rationality that I could work it off in the morning at the gym, at least now I know that I am going to get on that treadmill in the morning and run that piece of pie and ice cream off.  Okay so it might take more than one day, but hey I’m up for the challenge.  

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://write-2-be.com/

https://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

www.lulu.com/ladybugpress

Oh What A Journey This Is Becoming…

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I can’t say exactly what day I started this journey of losing weight and becoming a healthier me but I believe it was around 3 and a half years ago.  I’ve gone from being extremely strict (and I do mean extreme) about my eating habits and working out for two hours a day in the gym (or until I practically killed myself—not literally of course), to relaxing a bit on my eating habits and only working out for about an hour a day (45 minutes of cardio, 15 minutes of strength training).  

 

I’ve had slip ups where I’ve completely gotten in a funk and turned back to my emotional eating ways of eating the worst foods I could get my hands on.  But then I always straightened myself back out and got back on track.  I have learned, however, that completely cutting out all of the foods that I love is not the way to go because it just makes me want them all the more, so I try and reward myself on the weekends and I try to allow myself to be okay with that.  

My journey to a healthier (and of course smaller) version of me has also transformed into me helping my daughter to become healthier and getting her weight under control before it gets out of hand and it’s too late to do anything about it.  So we have taken up skating which I am starting to remember how much I loved it a long time ago, and it seems to be helping a lot, for the both of us.  

A couple of weeks ago I bought some new workout clothes because my old ones were too big for me (something all of us plump girls love to be able to say) and I had to break down and buy new ones.  I took a chance on buying a particular size that I had not worn since I was in high school (which by the way I would give anything to wear that size again) and to my surprise and wonderful shock I actually fit them.  Now they’re workout clothes which as you know means they stretch so I haven’t quite reached the point where I can buy jeans in that size yet but a year ago I couldn’t have even bought workout clothes in that size so I am doing a happy dance.  

I am finally beginning to see what other people see when they tell me that I am coming down and that I am making so much progress.  I also did something today that I really don’t like to do, I got on the scale, and I didn’t break down into deep depression (which is what I always do), in fact I finally took in the distance that I have come in this journey of mine and started to really appreciate it.  

I’m not vocal when it comes to the number it says on the scale when I get on there but I can tell you guys that when I started this journey some 3 and a half years ago I was well over 450lbs (it hurts to even have to type that number), probably really close to the 480lb mark.  I couldn’t even give you an exact figure because I was too large to really be accurately weighed so I can never accurately tell you the exact amount that I have lost.  I can’t even tell you how I let it get that bad.  I do know that while I would love to say that I am in the 200’s by now (because I feel I should be) I have lost close to 150lbs (as I said I can’t be exact).  

I realize that in 3 and a half years I probably should have lost more but I am still trying to find that balance of being healthy and fit without becoming extremely excessive and dangerously obsessed with losing weight.  I know that I have not stopped remaining consistent and I know that the slower the process the better chance at it all staying off.  I also realize that to look the way I envision myself looking I am probably going to have to do the skin removal surgery when I get to the point where I think I’m ready (which may be adding to the number on the scale).  

I am going to be more active on this blog and keep you guys updated and maybe my story and my journey can help someone else out there to know that they don’t have to have all the answers to becoming healthier as long as they are constantly moving in the right direction.  I can tell you that I am feeling much healthier and much better about myself then I did when I started this journey, better then I felt even a year ago.  It took so much courage to even tell you guys’ my numbers but I plan on keeping up the progress I am making and losing a lot more in the next coming year.  Until next time, don’t keep looking back at where you were, start looking at how far you’ve come.  I have! 

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://write-2-be.com/

https://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

www.lulu.com/ladybugpress