I only just now realized that I have not blogged here in over a year, since March of 2013 to be exact. That should be the first indicator of how far I have fallen off of the exercise and health wagon. What’s even sadder is that I started soothing my soul with food again last year which was what got me to this point of needing to loose all this weight to begin with.
I had lost quite a bit and I was proud but then I wasn’t able to renew my gym membership last year and I couldn’t exactly focus enough at home to work out in the house and then last year was just such a terrible year financially for me that I just sort-of gave up. As a result I started eating poorly, a lot more emotional eating, and some of the weight that I loss has come back.
I am looking in the mirror staring at the woman that I was starting to say goodbye to and I am seeing her come back slowly and I don’t want her to. It’s not that I don’t love myself regardless, I have learned that I am a beautiful, and wonderfully flawed person who deserves to love and be loved no matter what my size is. But that unhealthier version of me that I had said goodbye to, that woman who wasn’t very confident in herself, who could barely move around without becoming winded and out of breath, who looked in the mirror and saw so many things that needed to be changed, and who didn’t feel very beautiful. I don’t want her to come back.
So I decided that I was going to get my health and my weight back on track this year. Today I went to go sign up at a new (more cost effective) gym and I am excited to be able to work out again. I even took a before picture this time and took note of my starting weight. I hate the idea of starting all over again but here I am having to do just that.
I will be blogging here more often, sharing my journey, sharing some exercise videos, sharing some healthier recipe ideas, and if I get up the nerve one of these days, perhaps even some of my own video blogs. I have also created a fanpage that you guys can check out and get even more updates through. I hope all of you out there who are also on a weight loss journey or on a path to become healthier, will help encourage me and I hope that I help to encourage you and keep each other pushing along. We’re all in this together even if the paths of our journey’s are very different.
The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)
Writing as “Jaycee Durant”