I never used to like who I was
Okay I know that I have not written here for a while now and it is not because I didn’t have anything to say, but rather I needed to figure out how to shift gears. This blog has and still is about my weight loss journey but I want to turn my attention more so to what losing weight is doing for me, other than just getting rid of unwanted pounds. It is true that I am still not where I would have liked to be in the weight loss department by now but I have to take stock in the little monuments of achievement that this journey has done for me. I can run on a treadmill now, what person that knows me would’ve ever thought that was possible (well not me). I can walk up many flights of stairs without becoming short of breathe. I can run around and play with my daughter and not get nearly as tired as I used to. I can breathe better and I can sleep better. I don’t share this with too many people but two years ago I had began to realize that I had sleep apnea and that each night I was probably a step closer to not waking up the next morning. Now I don’t worry about that anymore. I may not have lost as much as I felt I should have by now but I am definitely a much healthier person. The most important thing to me is that I am much more confident now. I actually like myself more now and I love myself immensely and I can admit now that before I didn’t love myself too much. I would look in the mirror and wish that I was anyone else but me and now, although I still have some days where I look in the mirror and analyze what portions of me I am still waiting for to go, I can honestly say that I love me and I love who I am. I just wanted to share that with whoever is reading so that you realize that losing weight is not just about the pounds you shed but also about the doubts that you shed along with that weight. I am glad to be back on this blog and I hope that I can inspire someone out there to look at weight loss in terms of not just what pounds you are losing but about the level of self acceptance that you are also gaining. Until next time…ask yourself how much self-love have you gained in your weight loss!
The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)
Writing as “Jaycee Durant”