Fat Girl Confession # 20


I confess…I needed a little extra motivation to get going again 

I watched an old Tyra show that came on today and it both sickened and saddened me at the same time.  There was a woman on there, close to 600 lbs, and she was depressed about her weight.  Not because she was morbidly obese, but because she doesn’t weigh closer to the 1,000 pounds that she would like to weigh.  She claims that she loves being fat and wants to put on more weight.  She makes money by taking online request from people who, in a high school type of atmosphere, would be considered bullies, asking her to do absurd things in relation to her being as fat as she is for money.  Things such as down a whole gallon of chocolate milk in a certain time period or to eat food off of her stomach, and she video tapes her acts and that is how she gets money.  

She says that she doesn’t like to move, she doesn’t like mobility, she can’t take a shower by herself and someone has to wash her.  For breakfast she eats a carton of eggs, scrambled, she eats a package of bacon and 5 or 6 pieces of toast.  This is every morning.  She just recently had a baby within the last year and she has a fiancé who is encouraging this and wants her to get bigger and bigger.  They claim that for her size her health is in good shape yet she can’t walk 40 feet without getting drastically winded.  She couldn’t get on the scale that Tyra brought out for her, which was only six inches off the ground, without help from her fiancé and she was winded even then in just the ten steps from the chair to the scale.  

She actually said that she was more likely to die from breast cancer then obesity and that we all have to go sometime so what difference does it make how she goes.  As you might imagine the cancer statement angered many audience members and I’m sure many viewers who happen to be cancer survivors.  She’s absolutely right that we all have to go sometime but to just throw your opportunity at life away, an opportunity that some people don’t get to live out, is just…well words cannot even do it justice.  As I watched this, me, a person on a journey and constant battle, struggling to lose the weight that I have, was just disgusted.  I literally wanted to throw something at the T.V. and go straight to the gym.  

I think that the woman that I saw on today’s show is sick.  She made a comment early in the show in which she compared herself to an anorexic saying that just as a person who is anorexic looks in the mirror and sees nothing but a fat person even though that’s not what’s there, she looks in the mirror and sees someone who is small, no matter how fat she is.  The interesting thing is that while she compared her situation to a mental illness such as anorexia, she does not think that she has any kind of problem but food addiction is a big problem that has a lot to do with the mind as anorexia does.  

Not that I wasn’t motivated before to go to the gym consistently, because up until my unplanned two week break that I just came off of I was a constant staple in the gym, but this particular show motivated me ten times more.  Watching that show made me wonder why I ever thought that it was okay to be that overweight and pretend to be okay with it.  While I was never even close to 600 pounds, when I started this journey I was pretty up there and seeing this show made me so thankful of that moment, that realization, when I made the choice to do something about my weight to better my health and in essence my life.  

Even though the woman on the show didn’t see anything wrong with what she was doing to herself (which is what I call suicide by food) but I am hoping that someone, besides me, benefited from seeing her and that if someone out there needed extra motivation that they got it and that maybe they had that AhHa!!! moment where they realized that they needed to get up and get moving.  Until next time…get motivated and get moving!!!


Jimmetta Carpenter


The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”









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