I have to confess…I didn’t think that it would take quite this long
Okay, now while I know that I didn’t put all of the weight that I am trying to lose on overnight and I knew, in my head anyway, that I couldn’t take it all off overnight either, I surely thought I would see more than what I am seeing at this stage. Now I must say that I am starting to subtly notice some differences in my size and I have been getting many compliments on my weight loss and some people who tell me that they see me losing weight when I don’t even see it, I still thought that after a year and a half of constantly working out, and when I say constantly I mean five days a week, at the very least an hour a day, that I would see more of a drastic change. I want to look in the mirror and see what everyone else seems to be able to see. I tell people all the time that the compliments are nice and it’s great that they see that I am losing weight but what does it mean if I can’t see it. I know that since I live in my body, and have to look at it everyday, or because I look at it everyday, I am never really going to see what everyone else sees until I lose a lot more weight. I just want to scream because I knew it would be hard but man this is hard. I also have to confess that I may be the reason I am not seeing results as quickly as I would like because since I have been having some financial issues lately I have been a little depressed and stressed and when I get stressed and depressed I eat. And when I say eat I don’t mean the good things. I mean the things that I know that I shouldn’t eat. It is a part of that food addiction which I know people want to pretend isn’t real but it is. I know that I need to get a handle on my eating and maybe when it comes down to it, I need to have someone else, my trainer maybe, make a meal plan for me. I just had so hoped I would have lost half of me by now. Well I guess maybe next month….Until next time….eat healthy!!!
The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)
Writing as “Jaycee Durant”