I confess. I am an emotional eater.
I think I have already acknowledged this but I think maybe if I say it enough times out loud or so other people can see it than I might actually stop being an emotional eater. I can’t help it. Shit just gets to me. Everything just gets to me. I get sad I want to eat and when I’m happy I want to eat to celebrate why I am happy. Food is just comforting and it is always there for you. It doesn’t judge. It doesn’t criticize. It doesn’t ridicule. It doesn’t point fingers and laugh at you. It can be your best friend or in actual realization, your biggest enemy. It has got to stop somewhere. Maybe not the celebratory eating because you do have to reward yourself here and there but I can’t keep getting stressed out or sad or angry and then just eat to relieve my frustration. I would say that I should just channel that into working out at night but I already spend two, sometimes two and a half hours in the gym every morning Monday through Friday trying to loose the weight it took me half a lifetime to gain, so I don’t want to overdue it with the exercising. It’s just crazy because it seems like I just always have to have something to snack on and it never seems to be anything healthy to snack on in my house that doesn’t take actual preparation. I think that it may be due to the fact that since I started this journey to lose weight in January of 2009 I have lost a considerable amount of weight already and my consistent exercising which may be increasing my metabolism, thus making me hungrier. I am not sure I just know that I think that, though I am still losing weight, that I would lose much more if I could just quit the emotional eating. They say that food can become an addiction because just as a drunk or drug addict uses alcohol and drugs to cope and get them through tough times, people who eat emotionally do the same thing with food. It also doesn’t help that this society makes people feel as though is you are anything above a size 8 you are all of a sudden fat. But that’s part of the problem too. Worrying about what other people think. I suppose that some people would say better food than drugs or alcohol but does overeating kill you any less than overdosing or getting overly drunk? I guess it’s just yet another thing that I have to work on in my struggle to regain control over my weight and I am definitely not going to give up trying to make progress. Until next time….eat sensibly!!!
“The Diary: Succession of Lies” (Release Date To Be Announced)
Writing as “Jaycee Durant”