I do not like being the object of a picture. There I said it.
They say a picture is worth a thousand words. They also say that the camera adds ten pounds to whatever you weigh. So you can imagine why I never liked looking at myself in a picture. What’s funny is that I love the camera and I love taking pictures but of other people and I can’t stand to have a picture taken of myself. This past weekend I went to my best friend’s 30th birthday party at Dave and Buster’s and you know at the end of any birthday party there is picture taking. I brought my camera because I wanted to capture some pictures myself. I was actually quite interested to see what I looked like in a picture now since I have been on a lifestyle change and weight loss plan since January. Surprisingly I was pleasantly surprised. The first thing I said to myself was “wow, I don’t take up half the picture anymore” and the second thing I said to myself was “I look good”. My friend who’s party it was said to me “yeah girl, you did look real good”. But then of course there’s the negative side of me that looks at that very nice picture of me and says but I still have so much more weight to loose. I know I should rejoice in the good points and not dwell on the not so good points. However, that is easier said than done. When you’ve been fat for the better part of your life, it is just hard to see yourself in any good light but I am getting to my goal and I can see it now. I can see it in the way my clothes are falling off of me. I can see it in the fact that I am two sizes smaller than I was (or at least I think—it’s either 2 sizes or 4 sizes). I can see in the mirror that I don’t take up half of the mirror anymore. I can see that my face is smaller. But I still can see how much more I have to go. Don’t get me wrong I do in fact appreciate the progress thus far but I am just trying to keep my momentum and strive for more because I know I have a long way to go. As the saying goes, it didn’t accumulate over night so it’s not going to go away over night either. I understand that, I am just ready to see a different me. Well maybe if I lay off the peanut butter cookies that I have developed a weakness for baking lately I might get my goal faster. But we all have our rewards for ourselves don’t we? I still have habits that I would like to get rid of but I am a work in progress and I am definitely working on progressing. Until next week…Say cheese!!!
“The Diary: Succession of Lies” (Release Date To Be Announced)
Writing as “Jaycee Durant”